Garbage Day!

So once a week, I would like to have Garbage day where one of us, or maybe both of us, will pick a film that is complete garbage, and review it.

So remember back in the day when Freddie Prinze Jr did like all these totally awesome movies and every chick totally wanted to slob on his knob? I’m talking pre-Scooby Doo Prinze Jr. Like the way he was in I Know What You Did Last Summer and She’s All That. Geez, I’m getting hard just thinking about him. Anyway…..

He did this film, maybe you have seen it, it’s entitled Down to You with Julia Stiles. This movie is made very shittily (yes, I made that word up just for Garbage Day)

Its about these two kids who fall in love. But when they reach college, things start to fall apart. Julia Stiles turns into this uber-Bitch and gets all uppity about Freddie not being a party goer. Cut the guy a break! Just cause he doesn’t want to go out and do drugs and fuck all sorts of starnge poon doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you! He does! He really does! He would just much rather stay home and bone the shit out of you; he isn’t like all the other guys. He is special! You’re such a bitch! I can’t believe you would do that to me!                            Umm, yeah. Sorry. Started having flashbacks.

So she cheats on him with Ashton Kutcher, who is playing some weird Jim Morrison character. And he breaks up with her, but then realizes that she is the only one for him. He tells us this, because throughout the movie they are constantly breaking the fourth wall and talking to you, the audience. I like to sometimes think that he is only talking to me. This movie was made only for me….

So he tries to kill himself. It was a dark hour for Jr. He finds an old bottle of her shampoo and drinks it. Why would he try to kill himself that way? I have no idea. Yeah not your smartest move Freddie Prinze Jr.

But he survives! I know, I know. You were sweating it out and all worried, but no matter now. So typical teen movie, they end up getting back together. And that bitch wrote some book about him and it’s called Down to You, just like the title of the movie. They get back together and everything is fine.

At the end of the film, you almost want Freddie Prinze to drop her ass and go out and fuck Rosario Dawson, who is also in the film. While only making a brief appearance, she manages to stick her finger in some guys ass. True Story.

But, alas, Freddie is a stand up guy and they end up together. Because after everything, they realized that they were meant to be together. (Hold on. Hold on. I can’t see because I’m tearing up. Eyes are all watery. Like a waterfall. Hold. Hold. Hold on. Ok. I’m fine now.) They realize that it came down to one person for them. It came Down to You.

Epilogue

Ok, so I really like this movie. I admitted it. Everytime it comes on I can’t turn it off. I’m surpirsed I don’t own it yet. It is solid. Ok? It’s a solid piece of work. Freddie Prinze Jr is just so god-damn cute.